


Screaming

by space_kid (orphan_account)



Series: 2am Stories [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Aromantic, Depression, M/M, Teenlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 08:46:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3404402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/space_kid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eating him alive, that what it was doing to him... He wished he could press past it, but then it came roaring back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Screaming

**Author's Note:**

> Aromantic- the absent desire to feel romance

He lied there, staring at his ceiling, watching the particles falling down from the ceiling, looking at nothing, feeling nothing. He was nothing. But except he was something, he was broken, sad, empty, and angry. That's all he was and had in the end, his temper and his clenched fists drawing blood.

And he wants happiness, it's not like he doesn't want it, no. He wants to spin around with John, smiling and laughing, be together. But for some strange reason, he was nothing. He touched John, but felt nothing. He smiled at John, but no butterflies erupting. He wanted to hold John's hand, but when he did, he cringed and writhed until he tore his hand back with gritted teeth. He sees others happy, so why couldn't he have that? Why couldn't he smile at him, have what they have? No family in the future, no kids, why was he here?

But no matter how much he didn't want to exist, every time he looked at a knife or a bottle, he feels cowardiy. _What if it hurt? _He was afraid of pain, the shock, the blood. He wanted to go carefully, in his sleep, away from the population, away from everything remotely happy, remotely good. As far away from John as possible, then.__

But he's had it so good in life, money, a house, no abusive parents, why does he feel like this? Why is he crying, why is he suicidal? He has no right to feel this, no right to cry, or to wish death, because he is ungrateful for all he has been given, so selfish and a camera whore. Someone always needs to pity Sherlock, huh?

Tell him? No, you're only doing it for attention!

Tell him? No, you're overreacring!

Tell him? No, he'll think less of you!

Sherlock screams and screams and screams, but it's silent, for the only one who can hear it is him.

And the next day starts, and so does the vicious cycle.


End file.
